The Inner Alchemy
The Inner Alchemy is a process of returning to and re~membering Self, Body, Sexuality, Sensations and Movement and rising up from the medicine each individual discovers in the poison of sexual trauma.
The uniqueness about this process is that it’s method is not designed from intellect, study or knowledge. Of course these elements are present. But the core of all humans ability to experience alchemy stems not from the external but the internal. What I share with you has unfolded, grown and organically developed as I have.
From the intelligence of one human’s body that has experienced childhood sexual trauma and the disruption this causes within the “bodymind”, as a language to another human’s body.
I believe that we can only authentically share, speak and guide from a place of knowing how that tastes … with psychology, knowledge and logic, only there is still an air of leading blindly.
The process consists of defined and accurate steps of self inquiry and exploration, therefore offering your body, mind, sensations and movement a new experience. This approach creates a possibility for the release of trauma from our body and nervous system that talking cannot, simply because no amount of talking can offer our body a “feeling” of a new way.
Without a structured design, that allows for the process to be flexible to each individual and the individual circumstances around sexual trauma, the methodology embraces an inquiry of:
The Simplicity of Breath
During and after trauma, our breath is altered for a variety of reasons related to the sensations the breath creates within our body, how our breath encourages embodiment when there is an instinct to disengage from the body, the sound of breath and the desire to have some control.
Becoming A Body
After sexual trauma the body can appear to be a painful place to be, rather than a place of safety and pleasure. We can feel a sense of being outside or above our body and unable to engage at all with sensations or feelings.
Reclaiming our sexuality after sexual trauma is essential to reforming within our self something we feel was taken away, shamed or tainted. Our sexuality is also our roots which we need to create a sense of being grounded, a sense of belonging and an ability to “grow up” from.
Can offer so much to a survivor of sexual abuse, offering a new experience of touch to the body is profoundly healing to mind, body and emotions.
An important key to the release of sexual trauma is being able to meet, witness and hold our own wounds, needs and desires. Sometimes to even be able to notice them. From this listening. the motivation to act, to ask and to receive creates an self trust. Parenting self also enables us to look at addictions, self sabotage and destruction.
Sex and love can get confused, for we may misinterpret sex for love and often abusive relationships as love.
Being able to self protect and claim our voice, releasing the patterns of armour that isolate us from the world and others.
Allowing ourselves to be known, to be seen, to be met without the fear of being seen as the extreme powerless, vulnerabilities and fears that sexual trauma invokes.
The Origin & Exploration of Sensational Movement
In the trauma field there is much speak of sexual trauma somatics. I personally found the repetitive movements created overwhelm and therefore further trauma. I also found to attend to trauma as a group environment, a irresponsible approach, for each case of trauma does not fit into a defined label … and therefore each person’s trauma body needs listening to and met individually.
This method of movement as with all these steps I have touched upon here, was a calling from my own body to return to the primal movements which had been disrupted. This inquiry into the origin of movement enables a feeling of being in the walk, being in the moving. Where as so often after trauma we can feel we are walking but not there in the sensation. We also can distrust the body sensation that invites a movement, because if we move, we may get noticed and/or hurt.
Tantric Bodyworker & Teacher. Trauma Yoga Teacher.
Counsellor For Adult Survivors Of Childhood Sexual Abuse.