Self blame within sexual trauma is so prominent.

When we have accepted that it happened, we may then go through a process of self blame.

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But self blame within sexual trauma is another mental and emotional state that can keep us restricted and keep us tight from the inability to move from. To move forward …

We may consider the environment we were in … was it our fault?

Did what we were wearing, mean it was our fault?

The relationship of trust we may have built with our abuser.

We may have been told that it happened because we were a bad girl or a bad boy.

All these conversations and beliefs can whirl around us, to taking on board the responsibility of the trauma.

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There is a difference between taking the responsibility of our own healing, of our own choice and desire to grow from, to move forward from… To taking responsibility for the actual abuse.

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The abuse was not our fault. Absolutely, not at all.

It does not matter what you were wearing. It does not matter where you were. It does not matter what the dynamics of the relationship was. It does not matter if you bought into trust of that person.

The abuse was not our fault.

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Self blame may come along because we may have experienced a sensation of pleasure and that may create self blame and even anger within us.

That stimulation, that pleasure was a natural response to stimulation. A natural body response. Certainly not because you chose that, or because you encouraged that, or what ever your belief is.

So it is very important to look at what language we are telling ourselves. That the sexual abuse was our fault.

Where are we still taking and carrying the blame.

Where are we telling ourselves that the trauma was because of something we did or because of something we believed.

So after the step of acceptance, to look at self blame within sexual trauma, is a very big step into coming home to our own bodies, our own breath, our own movement.

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michelle roberton sexual trauma therapist brighton